she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
