It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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