Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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