You really coming over, don't trick.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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