I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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