I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize