Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
