at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we're making bets on your personal life
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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