Im at strip club and am horny
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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