I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
