im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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