i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
