that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
