you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
