Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
