It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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