At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
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No more Irish car bombs ever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?