hell yes lets make some ravioli
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest