Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
