Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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