Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
