how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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