dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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