I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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