Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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