he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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