i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
