Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize