Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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