Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
