Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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