If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my being single is dangerous.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
did i walk over a car last night?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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