I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
