Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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