so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
