Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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