I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
