Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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