Small penises have feelings too.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
