i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
