i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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