You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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