STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
