just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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