Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
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I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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