Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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