dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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