i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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