I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
