I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He kissed a someone with a penis
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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