Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
