She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
