Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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