Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
