Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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