the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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