I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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