Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize