Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
