dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have fence marks all over my body
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
